Alice: I didn’t know it was YOUR table, it’s laid for a great many more than three.
Hatter: Your hair wants cutting.
Alice: You should learn not to make personal remarks, it’s very rude.
The Hatter (eyes open wide): Why is a raven like a writing-desk?
Alice: I believe I can guess that.
March Hare: Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?
Alice: Exactly so.
March Hare: Then you should say what you mean.
Alice: I do, at least–at least I mean what I say–that’s the same thing, you know.
Hatter: Not the same thing a bit! You might just as well say that “I see what I eat” is the same
thing as “I eat what I see”!
March Hare: You might just as well say that “I like what I get” is the same thing as “I get what I
Dormouse: You might just as well say that “I breathe when I sleep” is the same thing as “I sleep
when I breathe”!’
Hatter: It IS the same thing with you
Hatter (he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every
now and then, and holding it to his ear.): What day of the month is it? turning to Alice:
Alice: The fourth.
Hatter (sighs; looks angrily at the March Hare): Two days wrong! I told you butter wouldn’t suit
March Hare: It was the BEST butter.
Alice: What a funny watch! It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell what o’clock it is!’
Hatter: Why should it? Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?
Alice: Of course not but that’s because it stays the same year for such a long time together.
Hatter: Which is just the case with MINE.
*Alice (dreadfully puzzled, very politely): I don’t quite understand you.
`The Dormouse is asleep again,’ said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, `Of course, of
course; just what I was going to remark myself.’
`Have you guessed the riddle yet?’ the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
`No, I give it up,’ Alice replied: `what’s the answer?’
`I haven’t the slightest idea,’ said the Hatter.
`Nor I,’ said the March Hare.
Hatter (turning towards audience): And now it’s high time for YOU to join our tea-party!